Sunday, August 9, 2009

Music Go Music: What's their real gimmick?

The first time I heard this song I thought is was from some type of coked-out, disco-dance-off movie-flop that I am too young to have ever heard of. Then when I realized it was released this year I became intrigued with this new retro disco sound. It's so like the disco of thirty years ago and not like the post disco revival of two years ago. It led to questions about this band that clouds itself in secrecy.

Is this a band we've heard before in disguise? I researched them via the usual online sources for like 15 minutes without finding out anything about the band. Which first led me to believe that they are one of those new "mysterious" bands that hides in the "warm shadows" till they release their first full-length production. But sources close to my imagination have led me to realize that this band is really a revamped layout of the classic (sounding) retro (sounding) band: The Strokes.

That's right in an effort to join in on the modern Co-Ed trend of bands they've added a feminine looking chick and some tiny farm animals as well as a genetically altered baby who will later replace the chick to lead in the next incarnation of the band.  

Genetically altered? That's right this band is not only a chill sounding anachronous group of bros that spl00dje out funky sounding synth and bass lines with the intent on getting bros laid by chicks who have belly-button rings, they are also an experiment into the future of humanity. They (the strokes) have solved the crisis that has plagued women for billions of years: How to reproduce without having to do it with a bro. You see the strokes have found a way to combine the X chromie from one chick with the X chromie of another chick. If Missy Etheridge's GFF technology then she never would have had to vag-swallow all that jizz from that old hippie Davie Cosby.

The only question now is who donated their women genes to help the strokes gimp into the next decade? Lots of theories have been thrown out, Blondie, Madonna, the bitches from ABBA, White Whitney Houston, Olivea Newton John, but the true Identity has yet to be revealed.

This inquiry raises many questions:

Who is(are) the mother(s)? Is woman-on-woman test tube lovin' immoral because it leaves out all the hot genital gropin' of real woman-on-woman lovin? Is disco really back or just a trend (like it always has been)? What happened to the rest of the strokes? Are the miniHorses somehow involved in their genetic generic music sex games? Is this song really good enough to be over nine minutes long?  Is the science project lead singer doable?

fuck people who breed mini animals.


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